Sunday, August 31, 2008

Evolution of the "do"

Ok, my wife thinks I`m crazy for doing this but oh well , so be it. I have decided to show you the evolution of my hairstyle. It is a story yet unfinished but I have a pretty good idea how it`ll end.

The part/y to the right

This was not so much a cut as a statement. The part to the right said "Yeah baby, I`m here and I`m ready to play". Obviously some parts of my body were growing faster than others. It was gonna be a long time before the rest of me would catch up with the ears and if I`m honest, it has never really caught up....

The Officer Tom Hanson

Remember 21 Jump Street and Johnny Depp`s character Tom Hanson? Well, I made it my mission to be the "Officer Tom Hanson" of Sasolburg. The amounts of gel needed were immense and I feel pretty much responsible for the success that Studio Line achieved here in SA. It also took a tremendous amount of time to get the fringe to stand at just the right angle. I played sick on windy / rainy days, just couldn`t face the world if the Tom Hanson was not perfect.

The Messy Sportsman

This look was perfect for sporty days. Here I am playing a rugby match and kicking for touch. What a sight. Perfection in motion some might say. Notice the hair, it has that "I am very serious about my sport but I don`t care about my hair on days like these" look. This look was perfected by after being tackled and struggling to your feet, you would take both hands and rub your head. Spectators, fans mostly, would then get extremely concerned. The hair, standing in all directions, emphasised the big hit you just took. Concern became as great a part as adoration in the crowd. Phrases like 'Oh, he`s so brave" were common.

The Gentleman

Perfect for serious occasions like a "Matric Farewell". The beauty about this look is that you can take The Messy Sportsman and turn it into this winner without too much trouble. In fact, the same cut was used. Incredible versatility! It had the same basics as the Officer Tom Hanson but was a bit more formal in nature ie. more structured lines. It is rounded off with a sophisticated look, which is perfectly illustrated on the accompanying photo.

The Middle Path aka A river runs through it

Middle paths were massive in the early 90`s. In fact, it was bigger than massive. I don`t know another word for massive but it was enormous. Here I am sporting The Middle Path which I fondly named "A river runs through it" after seeing the movie by the same name and noticing the similarities. I had gone natural and Studio Line started it`s slow economic decline. Also notice the size of the chin. It had now decided that it needed to catch up with the ears and unfortunately I was the canvas upon which this race was taking place.

The U can`t touch this

This look took a long time to perfect. It says "I don`t care" but takes some serious time to get right. You could not use any product or tools on it, just your God given fingers and a mirror. If it did not look perfect when it had dried, you had to take another shower and start the process all over again. Sometimes it took numerous showers and 2 - 3 hours before the look was complete. Notice how I complimented the look by closing my eyes when I was being photographed? This also doubled as a statement against consumerism and fits in with the new natural me.

The Hippie Bob

It took the normal Bob a bit further and added a hippie element. Not something you thought possible, hey? The clean lines of a Bob and the unrefined hippie look? I know, I was probably ahead of my time. Once again, the do encapsulated both the country`s political awakening and my social commentary of the time with the added benefit of hiding my ears, sort of. The colour of the bandanna has no significance at all.

The Soft at Sunset (SAS)

This look is perfected by the finish of the photograph. It emphasises the soft lines of the haircut. Notice how the setting sun creates a halo effect around me. I look almost angelic. Also notice how my body had caught up with my ears. The chin had given up by now and realised that it would never be as big a part of me as my ears. I really loved the SAS and would definitely have kept it going if I could. Magnificence at sunset....

The Inevitable

Throughout the Evolution of the do, it has always been The Inevitable that was bound to come out victorious. Call it genetics or whatever but I was always going to have to bow to The Inevitable. This cut is more out of necessity than out of want. My forehead has been getting bigger since I was in my twenties. For some reason I always felt like my forehead was creeping up on the back of my head. Then I woke up one morning and tried to do the Officer Tom Hanson but found that a fringe comprising all of 12 hair could not complete the look. I was devastated. Fortunately I had taken a wife, so ending up alone in an old age home with The Inevitable as my only companion was not gonna happen. Notice the chin trying to make a comeback....


Miller said...

You are crazy Broer! I think we all had those wonderful styles at some stage, unfortunately you have photo's of them. Just kidding, you make me laugh!!!!!

I think know what the next few photo's are going to look like. I have this problem, my forehead is growing faster than my hair.

Miller said...

Was that the Hippie Bob , or were you in your Federer Fan look then already?

Francois said...

he he!!! Thanks broer! With the storm of the century (well almost) hitting Cape Town this weekend I obviously had too much time on my hands!

Ps. I loved the forehead growing faster comment!!!!

Francois said...

No, the Hippie Bob was 8 BF (Before Federer)...

Darryl Bridges said...


At least you never had the Man-perm.

Even though I'm not balding, I gave into the inevitable a few years ago -- it's just easier to deal with, and I save about $450 a year on haircuts!


Francois said...

Hey Darryl, yes thank goodness the man perm never graced my head!

I must say, the Inevitable is such low maintenance, I should`ve done it ages ago!

Kevin Davis said...

I am a little disappointed that there was not man-perm or mullet - but good stuff all the same.

another lisa said...

not much SA weather gets broadcast here...are y'all having hurricanes too?
i love that you nagged jon to hurry up & post on SCL.
and you are brave beyond measure (or bored out of your mind) to post the parade of hair styles. thanks for a fun look @ the not so distant past. and we fondly remember JD before he got all famous & frenchy. 21 jump street was "must see" tv. thanks for sharing.
ps - who's your fave red sox player? email me if you'd

Francois said...

hey Kevin, no man perm or mullett OR the worst, a permed mullett ever graced my head! Thank goodness for that...

Ps. Not sure I would`ve posted it if I did....

Francois said...

Hey Lisa, great to see you again!

I must be honest, it was such a fun post to do with all the memories involved. Man, I laughed so much. I thought I was pretty smooth... Now the only smooth thing is my head!

JD was the man. 21 Jump Street ruled for a while and the Booker came around. Remember that? Richard Grieco I think? That was cool too. Could never quite get the hair to do what he did with his though.

I absolutely adore SCL. It is my favourite site. So you can imagine how I was looking forward to post by Tuesday.
I have been reading all the posts from the very first one. At the moment I`m at 230. I don`t know how he does it. He truly is blessed.

As for the weather, we had a big storm but not as bad as you guys. I think we`re situated too low down to get hurricanes but we do het some serious storms rolling in from the Pacific. You`re in Houston, hey? Did some of Gustav reach you guys? Scary stuff, I feel so sorry for the poor New Orleans people. It must be so bad leaving your home. A lot of them headed to Houston, from what I could gather on CNN.

My favourite Sox player? I like Jason Varitek and Coco Crisp (what a name though!).

Who are your favourites?

Anyways, it was great to chat to you again. Look forward to keeping in touch.

jacki janse van rensburg said...

thanks for making me LOL!

The Running Golfer said...

Hey Jacki! I just read the post again and had a good giggle myself! Don`t know how I came up with this!