A little heads up to Barack Obama (a follower of The Running Golfer +10) and John McCain (not a follower of The Running Golfer -10). I`ll be watching your every move and my opinion is easily swayed. Economic policy, Foreign policy and the length of your arms will all play vital roles in my endorsement of a candidate.
The endorsement will be based on a scientific system, especially designed by The Running Golfer and his advisors, HM, EM and RQ. Unfortunately the subtleties of the system cannot be made public but rest assured, it is scientific and it is a system. A fair result is guaranteed. What I can divulge are certain aspects that will count more than others. The following are high scoring areas but beware misters Obama and McCain, it can lose you a lot of points too:
- Economic policy
- Policy on David Beckham
- Policy on Coke Zero
- Policy on Fake Tans
- Foreign policy
- African policy (acknowledging that Africa exists earns a big bonus)
- British or American version of the Office? (no incorrect answer, unless you don`t know either which will result in instant disqualification)
The following will lose you points:
- If you or anybody on your staff can see Russia from their porch
- Which MLB team you support (-10 if it is not the Red Sox)
- If you or anybody on your staff has ever ordered the killing of Polar Bears
- Which NFL team you support (-10 if it is not the Patriots - this is a trick question, patriotism should be the cornerstone of your campaign)
- If Tom Cruise endorses you
- Which English Premiership Football side you support (+20 if you said Man Utd, all other answers -10 and if you said Liverpool, instant disqualification)
The scale of loss depends on the weighting of the issue.
So there you have it. I will be watching CNN, CNBC and Bloomberg for any snippets that might mean make or break for my endorsement. I know this places massive pressure on you but only the strong will survive.
Good luck gentleman.